Every once in a while, it is discovered that something that was useful for one purpose, turns out to be useful for an entirely different purpose. For instance, I recently read that Listerine (because of its antiseptic properties) was originally marketed as a floor cleaner, before becoming a very popular mouthwash.
Well, there’s a phrase that I learned a few years ago, that was originally taught to me in a sex education class and it turned out to be a strategy that works and applies well beyond the original topic.
THE ORIGINAL IDEA
Several years ago, Good News Church hosted a class called The Whole Sex Talkwhich was intended to be a training for parents on how to talk to their kids about sex from a biblical worldview. The class was great, and the biggest takeaway for me was this phrase: “A little bit and often.”
That was what the teacher kept saying regarding how to talk to kids about sex.
She described the older philosophy of parenting: where Dad would pull his 13-year old son aside and have “the talk.” The teacher said that it is pretty common that the dad in that scenario would have one long awkward conversation with their son explaining sex, after which both parties would be relieved that the conversation was over, and they would never speak of it to each other again.
She said that’s not the way to do it if you want your kid to truly understand, remember, and value what you are saying. She said a better strategy is to talk with your child about sex “a little bit and often.”
By “a little bit” she meant: don’t have one long talk where you try to cover everything you would ever want to say about it. Kids don’t want to hear their parents talk about sex for more than about five minutes at a time. And they don’t retain long monologues that they hear just one time.
And by “often” she meant: do not have “the talk.” Have many talks across the course of their childhood. In fact, it’s best to address this issue on multiple occasions and especially whenever it comes up naturally. (For instance, with my kids it came up naturally when an HIV commercial came on as we were watching tv.) It’s best if it’s a kind of ongoing conversation with open communication.
The main idea is, that if you want your kids to really get it, the information needs to be dripped into their minds gradually. And if it is important, you won’t just talk about it once.
I believe this is genius parenting, and I recommend it to parents whenever I talk to them about this issue.
OTHER APPLICATIONS
However, here's where the phrase, “a little bit and often,” turned out to be like Listerine.
A few years down the road it dawned on me that virtually all education and alldiscipleship works this same way. Learning something a little bit and often is the best way to get through to someone and to make anything stick, almost regardless of the topic.
For instance, if you wanted your children to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ, you’d never preach a one-hour sermon on it one day, and then never bring it up again! Of course not. If the gospel is important to you, you’d bring it up over and over again. And some of those times might only consist of a one-minute conversation as you deal with some issue in particular.
Or let’s say you are the pastor of a church that believes in: “Love God, Love Each Other, and Love People Who Don’t Know God Yet.” You can’t just do a sermon series on it, and then allow decades to go by before you ever bring it up again. It would end up long-forgotten, and the church would move on to valuing other things.
This also applies if you are a business owner or manager. Whatever your values are, you need to find ways to say them in little two- or three-minute increments, and you need to talk about them over and over again if you want your staff (or clients, or customers, etc.) to get it.
THIS METHOD CAN EVEN BE USED FOR EVIL
In fact, it dawned on me that the world uses this same tactic. I don’t know if it was on purpose or not, but I’ve noticed that lots of bad beliefs spread and get inculcated by this same method. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me that our society has changed its opinion on several issues, not because of a particular presentation that happened at one moment in time, but because of a message that was communicated a little bit and often.
America changed its mind about premarital sex (in the 1960’s most people thought that was a sin) and homosexuality (in the 1980’s most people thought it was a sin) and even transgenderism (in the 2000’s it was unthinkable for many and was happening far less than now.)
How did millions of people change their minds about all of this? Was it because someone got up on television and did a really educational and persuasive speech for an hour straight, and then everyone said, “Yes, it all makes sense now!”?
No, of course not. It seems to me that anti-Christian sexual messages were slowly dripped into our movies, tv shows, and popular music, a little bit and often, until the majority of people changed their minds.
GOING FORWARD
It's important to know that almost all good (and bad) discipleship is a little bit and often. Remember that the next time you need to teach someone something that is in God’s word, or persuade someone to change their mind about something, or counsel someone to try a different way of living.
Let’s say you work a secular job. If you want your co-workers to know about Jesus, your best bet (in many cases, though not all) will not be to sit your co-workers down and talk to them about Jesus for a half-hour straight. Some jobs don’t even allow for that. However, if you make some positive and helpful comments about Jesus a little bit and often, you may get the opportunity to explain more later on down the road.
Well, there’s a phrase that I learned a few years ago, that was originally taught to me in a sex education class and it turned out to be a strategy that works and applies well beyond the original topic.
THE ORIGINAL IDEA
Several years ago, Good News Church hosted a class called The Whole Sex Talkwhich was intended to be a training for parents on how to talk to their kids about sex from a biblical worldview. The class was great, and the biggest takeaway for me was this phrase: “A little bit and often.”
That was what the teacher kept saying regarding how to talk to kids about sex.
She described the older philosophy of parenting: where Dad would pull his 13-year old son aside and have “the talk.” The teacher said that it is pretty common that the dad in that scenario would have one long awkward conversation with their son explaining sex, after which both parties would be relieved that the conversation was over, and they would never speak of it to each other again.
She said that’s not the way to do it if you want your kid to truly understand, remember, and value what you are saying. She said a better strategy is to talk with your child about sex “a little bit and often.”
By “a little bit” she meant: don’t have one long talk where you try to cover everything you would ever want to say about it. Kids don’t want to hear their parents talk about sex for more than about five minutes at a time. And they don’t retain long monologues that they hear just one time.
And by “often” she meant: do not have “the talk.” Have many talks across the course of their childhood. In fact, it’s best to address this issue on multiple occasions and especially whenever it comes up naturally. (For instance, with my kids it came up naturally when an HIV commercial came on as we were watching tv.) It’s best if it’s a kind of ongoing conversation with open communication.
The main idea is, that if you want your kids to really get it, the information needs to be dripped into their minds gradually. And if it is important, you won’t just talk about it once.
I believe this is genius parenting, and I recommend it to parents whenever I talk to them about this issue.
OTHER APPLICATIONS
However, here's where the phrase, “a little bit and often,” turned out to be like Listerine.
A few years down the road it dawned on me that virtually all education and alldiscipleship works this same way. Learning something a little bit and often is the best way to get through to someone and to make anything stick, almost regardless of the topic.
For instance, if you wanted your children to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ, you’d never preach a one-hour sermon on it one day, and then never bring it up again! Of course not. If the gospel is important to you, you’d bring it up over and over again. And some of those times might only consist of a one-minute conversation as you deal with some issue in particular.
Or let’s say you are the pastor of a church that believes in: “Love God, Love Each Other, and Love People Who Don’t Know God Yet.” You can’t just do a sermon series on it, and then allow decades to go by before you ever bring it up again. It would end up long-forgotten, and the church would move on to valuing other things.
This also applies if you are a business owner or manager. Whatever your values are, you need to find ways to say them in little two- or three-minute increments, and you need to talk about them over and over again if you want your staff (or clients, or customers, etc.) to get it.
THIS METHOD CAN EVEN BE USED FOR EVIL
In fact, it dawned on me that the world uses this same tactic. I don’t know if it was on purpose or not, but I’ve noticed that lots of bad beliefs spread and get inculcated by this same method. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me that our society has changed its opinion on several issues, not because of a particular presentation that happened at one moment in time, but because of a message that was communicated a little bit and often.
America changed its mind about premarital sex (in the 1960’s most people thought that was a sin) and homosexuality (in the 1980’s most people thought it was a sin) and even transgenderism (in the 2000’s it was unthinkable for many and was happening far less than now.)
How did millions of people change their minds about all of this? Was it because someone got up on television and did a really educational and persuasive speech for an hour straight, and then everyone said, “Yes, it all makes sense now!”?
No, of course not. It seems to me that anti-Christian sexual messages were slowly dripped into our movies, tv shows, and popular music, a little bit and often, until the majority of people changed their minds.
GOING FORWARD
It's important to know that almost all good (and bad) discipleship is a little bit and often. Remember that the next time you need to teach someone something that is in God’s word, or persuade someone to change their mind about something, or counsel someone to try a different way of living.
Let’s say you work a secular job. If you want your co-workers to know about Jesus, your best bet (in many cases, though not all) will not be to sit your co-workers down and talk to them about Jesus for a half-hour straight. Some jobs don’t even allow for that. However, if you make some positive and helpful comments about Jesus a little bit and often, you may get the opportunity to explain more later on down the road.
