In my opinion, one of the most unpleasant and difficult duties that we have as Christians is church discipline. However, the Bible is clear that we have a responsibility to call fellow believers out of sinful behavioral patterns, AND if after multiple warnings they refuse to do so, to cut off some measure of socializing with them.
This responsibility, though controversial in our day and age, is found in multiple places throughout the New Testament:
This responsibility, though controversial in our day and age, is found in multiple places throughout the New Testament:
“My brothers, if any of you strays from the truth and someone turns him back, let him know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his life and cover a multitude of sins.”
~ James 5:19-20
“If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take note of that person, don’t associate with him, so that he may be ashamed. Yet don’t treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.”
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15
“But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer who is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or verbally abusive, a drunkard or a swindler. Do not even eat with such a person.”
~ 1 Corinthians 5:11
“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you… if he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention to even the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.”
~ Matthew 18:15-17
That’s what the Bible says to do with sin amongst the people of God. And though I don’t particularly like doing it, when I became a Christian I signed up for the whole package, and so I try to obey all the passages of scripture - even the ones I wouldn’t have written if I had been put in charge of making the rules.
Now, I’m sure you know that many people are against these practices. They say that it’s wrong to be exclusionary or intolerant: “People should be able to live their lives without any judgment from their friends and family, and you definitely shouldn’t cut people off just because they believe or behave in a way that you don’t agree with.”
But here’s the funny part. Most of the people who say that, don’t really believe that. How do I know? Because of their behavior towards me (and others) whenever the Bible passages above are followed.
There have been times when I have cut off social contact with someone in my life because they continue in unrepentant sin, while also continuing to profess Christ. (Typically, I do not cut off all contact, because I always want to keep the door open for a person to repent and be restored - see 2 Corinthians 2:5-8) Therefore, even when I cut off social contact (ie: “do not even eat with such person”) I try to keep some avenue of communication open in case there is a chance for repentance (ie: “don’t treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.”) In those situations, the person knows that they can come talk to me about it at any time, however, hanging out for fun at Applebees is simply not an option anymore.
Anyway, when a Christian chooses to do this, that’s often when the “church-discipline haters” will come out to make their case. They will speak about how it is unloving to cut off a friendship like this, and how this just makes Christians look even more judgmental than people already perceive them to be.
Ok, now back to that funny part I mentioned earlier; here’s what happens next: They will then cut off any kind of relationship they had with that Christian. (I know this for sure; it’s happened to me.)
Do you see the irony?
The people who take the position that you shouldn’t be judgmental about another person’s beliefs and behaviors, and you certainly shouldn’t pause a friendship over it… those people usually will judge you for doing it, and will pause (if not burn to the ground) any relationship that they had with you.
Now, I’m sure you know that many people are against these practices. They say that it’s wrong to be exclusionary or intolerant: “People should be able to live their lives without any judgment from their friends and family, and you definitely shouldn’t cut people off just because they believe or behave in a way that you don’t agree with.”
But here’s the funny part. Most of the people who say that, don’t really believe that. How do I know? Because of their behavior towards me (and others) whenever the Bible passages above are followed.
There have been times when I have cut off social contact with someone in my life because they continue in unrepentant sin, while also continuing to profess Christ. (Typically, I do not cut off all contact, because I always want to keep the door open for a person to repent and be restored - see 2 Corinthians 2:5-8) Therefore, even when I cut off social contact (ie: “do not even eat with such person”) I try to keep some avenue of communication open in case there is a chance for repentance (ie: “don’t treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.”) In those situations, the person knows that they can come talk to me about it at any time, however, hanging out for fun at Applebees is simply not an option anymore.
Anyway, when a Christian chooses to do this, that’s often when the “church-discipline haters” will come out to make their case. They will speak about how it is unloving to cut off a friendship like this, and how this just makes Christians look even more judgmental than people already perceive them to be.
Ok, now back to that funny part I mentioned earlier; here’s what happens next: They will then cut off any kind of relationship they had with that Christian. (I know this for sure; it’s happened to me.)
Do you see the irony?
The people who take the position that you shouldn’t be judgmental about another person’s beliefs and behaviors, and you certainly shouldn’t pause a friendship over it… those people usually will judge you for doing it, and will pause (if not burn to the ground) any relationship that they had with you.
And that’s because, deep down inside, everyone knows that the Bible is correct. Everyone knows that there is a point, where certain behavior shouldn’t be tolerated, and if after multiple conversations, nothing improves, the relationship must be redefined.
Everyone knows this policy has to exist for certain situations. And if they disagree with you for practicing 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, they will certainly practice 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 on you!
In many ways, humans can’t get away from exclusionary behaviors. So, it just comes down to where you will draw the line. Will you use Scripture as your guide? Or will you make up your own personal morality and then enforce that? But everybody draws the line somewhere.
Everyone knows this policy has to exist for certain situations. And if they disagree with you for practicing 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, they will certainly practice 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 on you!
In many ways, humans can’t get away from exclusionary behaviors. So, it just comes down to where you will draw the line. Will you use Scripture as your guide? Or will you make up your own personal morality and then enforce that? But everybody draws the line somewhere.
